Are we all caterpillars struggling to become butterflies at some point? Happily for the caterpillar, it’s simply a job of: eat, grow, shed, repeat. The little cutie expands, outgrows its skin, sheds it and renews it multiple times before reaching the important stage. In many ways, childhood mirrors this pattern—the constant growth, outgrowing clothes and styles in rapid succession, an insatiable appetite for food and the need to constantly know the answers to ‘why’? Although I don’t suppose the caterpillar needs this information, as humans we are a tad more needy.
For some of us, natural growth and development follow a predictable course. With the right support, we navigate adolescence, shedding outdated styles and identities with relative ease. By the time we emerge into adulthood, we are fully formed, ready to spread our wings and take flight.
But for others—by others, I mean me, who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma—this metamorphosis can be delayed. A prolonged stage of “caterpillar-hood” can set in and be devastatingly painful leaving them stuck in destructive patterns of behaviour, struggling to break free without the right kind of support. This support can come from a variety of sources. Family and friends, nature and the great outdoors, or activities and hobbies. For many, getting out into nature has proven to be very soothing for anxiety. In other cases, mental health professionals may be required to provide a range of therapies tailored to the individual’s needs.
How Does a Caterpillar Become a Butterfly?
The transformation happens within the safety of a cocoon—hidden underground or under the branch of a tree, protected while undergoing this necessary change. But it’s not as simple as just growing wings and taking flight.
To become a butterfly, a caterpillar must dissolve into a formless, primordial goo. It doesn’t merely grow—it completely breaks down. Every part of its former self must disintegrate before it can be restructured into something new.
Anyone who has embarked on a deep healing journey will recognize this stage—dissolving or melting down. The frequent meltdowns as we struggle to let go of harmful memories and move away from destructive habits. Processing past trauma is not pretty or linear. It’s messy and at times, it may feel like everything is falling apart. Grief and relief, destruction and renewal, can come in waves. Riding those waves teaches new skills in balance and focus.
And, Just as no two butterflies are the same, no two healing journeys are identical. There is no right way. The only way through is with patience, self-compassion, and self forgiveness.
As the butterfly nears completion, its exoskeleton hardens within the cocoon. Strength replaces fragility. And, In the final moments, it secretes an enzyme to soften the cocoon walls as it pushes its way out.
Similarly, as we near the end of our healing journey, we develop a newfound resilience. Our fragmented selves pieced back together, forming a stronger, more integrated version of who we are. Even so, after a long period of isolation or internal struggle, stepping back into the world can feel overwhelming— but we see the sunshine through the final layer of the cocoon and we are drawn to the light.
As our wings unfold in the warmth of the sunlight we stretch into this new version of ourselves, taking our first, tentative flight.
So If you feel like a mess right now, wrapped in blankets, unsure if you’ll ever emerge—hold on. Transformation is rarely graceful, but what awaits on the other side is entirely new and beautiful.
Keep riding the waves. Your wings are coming.
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Living on the Edge 